yesterday was excellent.

aface's graduation was lovely, and i am ever-so-glad that i was invited. 

Danny, Joel, Ali, and Aface are wonderful. all the time. 

Cha for Tea was delicious, but mostly because it was celebratory graduation cha. 

played the most epic game of badminton. I fail at hitting shuttlecocks, 

but playing Gays vs. Straights set the competition level up a notch. 

After Aface's Graduation Party I went to Fridays with the starbux gang for Val's 28th birthday. 

I was definitely the youngest guest, but they say I'm part of the starbux family, so age doesn't matter. 

Stephanie drove me home and it felt like last summer, 

i forgot how much i missed our rides home. 

anyway, it was just overall excellent...just like the title of this post has already indicated.  

hey, you!

i wish you would open up to me. 

don't let it build up, or it just might explode. 

everything looks the same

this summer will be exactly like the one before it, 

it will taste like coffee, hummus, and pelegrino,

smell like sweet salts and moroccan oil,

look like opportunity,

and feel like the brink of perfection.

all of these things will be experienced by a new person in an old setting. 

i will be able to feel the vibrations and hear the echoes

of who i once was, 

mesmerized by the apple at the center of the garden. 

what will i become if change is inevitable? 

place your bets, the transformation starts now. 

ellen's katrina graduation speech. i pretty much just love her.

ellen common cement
by tehdownloads

I didn't mean to....

but i picked up little pieces of your personality and put them in my mannerism jar. 

sometimes i look in the mirror and see sparks of confidence that i used to see in you, 

and on occasion i will  randomly hear your words spit from my mouth like a hiccuping sprinkler. 

i wish i hadn't vacuumed up your little habits oh-so-long ago

because they remind me of a time when we used to talk about the weather. 

LAWLZ

Dad: "the baby birds hatched, you know, the ones from the nest in the grotto." 

Courtney: "really? that's cool."

Dad: "I'm so excited! I feel like a grandpa." 

i'm glad my dad can connect with the wildlife in our backyard...

it's taking over

it won't be long. 

i'm already embarrassed

because i know that i'm going to cry at this fleetwood mac concert. 

i've just realized...

now that i know you,  i need you for balance. 

my well-being requires it. 

and now that you're in, i'll break if you're out. 

i'm sorry, that's just how i work. 

i'm a human barnacle soul. 

One of my favorite Sylvia Plath poems.

To Eva Descending the Stair

Clocks cry: stillness is a lie, my dear;
The wheels revolve, the universe keeps running.
(Proud you halt upon the spiral stair.)

The asteroids turn traitor in the air,
And planets plot with old elliptic cunning;
Clocks cry: stillness is a lie, my dear.

Red the unraveled rose sings in your hair:
Blood springs eternal if the heart be burning.
(Proud you halt upon the spiral stair.)

Cryptic stars wind up the atmosphere,
In solar schemes the titled suns go turning;
Clocks cry: stillness is a lie, my dear.

Loud the immortal nightingales declare:
Love flames forever if the flesh be yearning.
(Proud you halt upon the spiral stair.)

Circling zodiac compels the year.
Intolerant beauty never will be learning.
Clocks cry: stillness is a lie, my dear.
(Proud you halt upon the spiral stair.)

there was a grain of sand in my poket

and while i shuffled around

at school

at home

at that familiar coffee place

with you

i looked inside and saw a pearl. 

i am no stranger to unhealthy obsession.

and i actually hope it sticks around for a while. 

i like the artificial jsoosch. 

it's far better than just another day at the office. 

streamers and perfume

backwards feathers on 

macaws 

make nonsense 

slip through the creases

and the 

trains near the city

are going nowhere

while i 

can't help but feel 

like a fool. 

the popsicles

drip 

drip

and i suck up the puddle with a bendy straw. 

i feel bad but...

i kind of like you better than the others. 

maybe it's because you're easier to talk to. 

but i hope you know that the amount of awesome you possess is astounding. 

kodak moment?

Dad and I slow-danced to the song Aubrey (by Bread) last night. 

i really can't imagine anything more adorable. 

he's so great. 

for fun.

Here's a list of people and the songs that remind me of them...

Ali: Wake Up [The Arcade Fire]

Aface: Prescilla [Bat for Lashes]

Ashley: Rhiannon [Stevie Nicks]

Stephanie: Let Go [Frou Frou]

Annika: Think Twice [Eve 6]

Amanda/All Talbots: Frontier Psychiatrist [The Avalanches]

Kat: Cry Me A River [Julie London]

Mom: West End Girls [Pet Shop Boys]

Dad: Tristan [Patrick Wolf] 

Chase: Comfort Eagle [Cake]

Lauren G: Silver Springs [Stevie Nicks]

Stewart: At the Hop [Devendra Banhart]

Mallory: True Affection [The Blow]

I just read all of our saved aim conversations from the summer and...

A. almost cried, not even sure why [i think the nostalgia was just far too overwhelming]

B. realized that we used to talk every 5 minutes

C. remembered all of our summer jokes. and they're fuckin hilarious. 

D. what happened?

come back pregnant lady!

i hate that you're gone. 

i feel like the ap world kids and the euro kids

are in this really complex silent battle. 

we both want to prove that our subject is harder than the other one. 

ap world is obviously far more difficult....that's all I'm going to say. 

I have renewed faith in mandala

not because i got poems in, but because the poems that got in this year were excellent, and I think this book is going to be a badass lovechild conceived by all of us. 

Harbor Tyme

I rode my bike all the way down to the harbor and then to the Ocean Institute. I applied to be a volunteer, and hopefully that works out, because I think I would have a ridiculous amount of fun playing with starfish/stingrays/jellies/mermaids. 

I then rode up to this small cliff overlooking the ocean and drew pictures in my new sketchbook for about thirty minutes. It smelled really good there. Salt, Seaweed, and....Oxygen. 

Next I rode all the way down to the other end of the harbor and purchased some ice cream, and decided to bring my melty cup of ice cream to the middle of the harbor, in front of Harpoon Henry's, where all of the funny looking people and the animals come together in perfect unity. 

I listened to music, nommed on cold things, and drew more pictures. 

Then dad picked me up. 

It felt so good to just sit down and hang out with myself.