call me crazy

but I really don't get tired of seeing you. 

The Vulture

you are rodents

with frayed feathers

cane-top beaks and

hunch-back postures

 

lusting for decay

 

you feast upon the flesh of the dead

circling the skies with grim intent.

 

you are not beautiful

or majestic—

there is no melody in your soul

to soothe the hearts of children

 

but you are faithful.

 

humans are the evolved

the intelligent

and the emotional

 

yet you have perfected commitment.

 

you are nature’s derelicts

but masters of tethered souls and kindred spirits.

 

you live the human vows: till death do we part

with honor and fidelity

while we make promises of forever

with crossed fingers.

 

you are the vultures

lusting for decay

but with unbreakable bonds

 

and we should be ashamed.

 

 

 

it's ironic...

how i only noticed how beautiful you were after you left. 

i hope you find happiness in Pennsylvania. 

you were a pleasantly unexpected friend  :]

it sucks that i feel so creative

when i have all of this school work to do. 

maybe the suppressed creativity will seep into my dreams 

and i'll wake up smiling. 

it's all playing in my head

a sequence of events and actions that shaped who I've become, 

and if my memories were recorded, 

i could show you, in a single strip of film

the rapture, the confusion, and the shadows 

all in those facial expressions

in my eyebrows, 

in between the lines of your eyes

the promises and the distant light

cascading down cliffs and presenting itself

in the humblest manner, 

the forests of man-made trees

and the sunsets along the mediterranean 

that pleaded for me to notice their beauty 

when beauty was a past-tense concept to me. 

you would see the moments of honest friendship

underneath green umbrellas 

and plaster ceilings adorned with stars and mushrooms, 

the moments of guilty pleasure

in the form of a leather-clad bird 

and its amber companion

days of caffeine consumption

and nature hikes to suburban grasslands

under the orange county sun

that scorched me in all the wrong places. 

you could see the passion of understanding 

in my actions, before my days hollowed out

and echoed lost love

the times when I visited my inspiration 

in a small room at the end of the hallway

just to feel at home in my own skin

and when the symphonies of new music

became a life force, 

driving me into each day

with audio images that fed my need to 

feel something beyond words.

but I feel nothing, 

and all I see now 

is a goddamn clip show. 

the summer is coming to a close

and i'm not ready to start thinking again. 

August 25th is going to be the start of the biggest lifestyle change i've ever encountered. 

Lately, I've been contemplating what I really want to do with my life, and I always come back to writing. I know what I want to be, but do I have the right mixture of talent, luck, and motivation necessary to succeed? 

I hope this new school helps me figure things out, although I know the doors it will open could easily push me into deeper befuddlement. 

befuddlement is a good word. 

blurg.

i dont know if it's the coffee, or just my own natural will, but for some reason i feel like babblevomiting all over my blog. 

i saw a thong on the side of the road today, when i was walking to starbux.

i was wondering if it was a sign of some sorts, like when the ancient greeks used to look for birds of prey as nature's signal for war. 

maybe it was fate's way of telling me that i need to get a thong...

i sure hope not. 

i got my new nerd glasses. i dont feel as confident in them as my previous pair. 

not sure why though....

starbux has been treating me well. whenever i walk in there's always someone to chat with or make fun of. 

i'm proud to say that i am an integrated member of the employee family, 

even though i dont own a green apron. 

i'm reading The Crucible as a summer assignment. i think it's magical. the movie was fantastic when i watched it last year, and i think i'll re-rent it when i finish the book. 

i need new music. the end. 

i thoroughly enjoyed yesterday

ashley came over early in the morning and we initiated a mini xena marathon. 

we made pepperjack quesadillas and chugged coffee at starbux. 

we then had conversations usually reserved for stoners while we compared our personalities to the color of our coffee. 

we returned home and she made another pepperjack quesadilla. 

i taught her some karate ninja shit. 

she left and I went to karate. 

we did extreme summersault/shoulder rolls. 

i came home and ate lemon meringue pie. it was delicious. 

then i stayed up late and watched an obscene amount of youtube videos. 

yes, it was a very successful day. 

somethng whistful and melancholy.

there's something to be said for couples who can spend a lifetime loving each other. 

i pray to be a part of the small percentage who does.