i've started having dreams about you again

i dont know if thats a good thing.

So I'm with Ali in Cold-As-Fuck Connecticut

it's actually really refreshing.

The surprise was perfect.

We got her face on videotape.

I'm determined to purchase a journal while I'm here.

We're leaving for Stowe, Vermont around Wednesday.

Stowe will be much colder.

There's a storm coming in on New Years. Joy.

I'm predicting that my lips will bleed by the time I return to California.

I have so many healthy resolutions :]

This next year will be promising I think.

i have so much need

and it's something I can't satisfy.

fate needs to deal me the queen of hearts before I start thinking too much.

Melissa Etheridge's form of xena fanfiction...

because we all need to appease the obsession gods somehow.

I've Loved You Before--Lyrics.

I think of how you know me,
no doubts no thinking twice.
When your smile can be so soothing,
a familiar paradise.
When there's no one else that makes me whole.
I have never needing more
I get this feeling I've loved you before

We were lovers in an army,
marching all for Rome.
side by side in battle,
did we bravely leave our home?
Did I hold you in my arms,
as you were taking your last breath?
Did shout to all the gods,
that I would love you beyond death?
I swear I've loved you before.

Did we hide in the dark ages,
from a vengeful god above?
Were our names too unfamiliar,
to ever speak of love?
Did I cling to every moment with you,
in every parting glance?
An accidental touch,
did we ever take the chance?
I know I've loved you before.

Have I wandered through the desert?
Have I looked and learned all the stars?
Have I rode the days and nights on rails,
to get back where you are?
And every time I foundered,
it's your eyes I know for sure.

When I think of how you know me,
no doubts no thinking twice.
When your smile can be so soothing,
a familiar paradise.
When there's no one else that makes me whole.
I never wanting more.
I get this feeling.
I know I've loved you before.

I know I've loved you before
I've loved you before

my lifelong dream of meeting Amber Tamblyn

seems so excruciatingly close,

especially when I keep seeing facebook photos of her with Mindy Nettifee.

For some reason, it makes her seem more attainable.

I'm only one human connection away from living out my lifelong dream.

and it's killing me.

i cant get enough.

"There is a difference between an unwanted aggressive pawing, and a much desired exploratory caress."

HAHAHAHA.

conflict

A lot of me wants to be open to love in new places.

but a lot of me is also scared shitless.

believe it or not.

Avalon (formerly known as Bus Girl)

i think i kinda like you.

which means that recovery is a tangible goal.

I shall overcome you, Love Addiction!

Google this: Bokonon (specifically Wampeter)

i need to replace that 65 percent of me that is You,

and let you shrink down to an itty bitty 5 percent,

so that I can fill the rest of myself with new ideas, new discoveries,

and new hope for a healthier future.

i loved you then, and i love you now, but i won't let you be my "wampeter" forever.

i'm sorry.